notvegan

February 1, 2017

goodmorning

Good morning from Idaho! I flew back from Oklahoma on Monday and I’m in Idaho for exactly one more month until I leave on my next big adventure (!!). My visit with Margie was absolutely amazing. We did a lot of juice drinking, bone broth making, and soup pureeing. Margie has some health issues she’s been dealing with, so I went to go help her out a little bit and spend some quality time with her. We’re trying to get her healthy enough so we can go back to Hawaii, where we belong.

Slowly but surely we will get there!

paradise-2

Last Friday, Margie chopped off all my hair. I knew I wanted to cut my hair before leaving on my next travel, so I just let Margie do it because she used to be a hairdresser. We cut off 10 inches!! We looked on the Locks of Love website and their requirement to donate hair is 10 inches. I thought I might as well donate my hair if I wanted to chop it all off anyway, so Margie put my hair in a ponytail, measured 10 inches, and then went for it.

youlikeit

I have exactly 20 days left of hard work and then I am a free bird! Oh my gosh, I can’t even tell you how excited I am to feel free again. I am very much looking forward to the continuation of unraveling the puzzle that the world has in store for me.

I know I am driving everyone crazy by purposefully omitting information of where I’m going, but it’s because I’ve been doing a lot of research and creating a lot of top secret blog posts of the places I’ll be visiting.

New things coming your way shortly, but for now I have to go to work.

Make it a great day, everybody.

xo

 

 

 

 

Saturday, July 2nd.

On Saturday, Ellie and I spent three hours together but it felt like an eternity. Ellie is such an introverted extrovert—like me. We both can be social when we want to, but that usually isn’t the case. I love hanging out with her because I don’t have to pretend to be a big phony and woohoo about how great my life is even though sometimes I feel like it’s crumbling to pieces.

watching fraisier

I'mcomingover.

I spent $6 on a bag of peas at the farmer’s market. Yeah, I felt like a big piece of shit after that! Only rich, white people can afford that kind of crap. Farmer’s markets kind of piss me off. They’re just so goddamn expensive. I can’t help but go—that’s the really materialistic side of me. I love good, organic vegetables. It’s not like I’m a vegan or afraid of GMOs or anything. In fact I don’t really know that much about GMOs to have an honest to god conversation about it. But I think science is pretty cool and instead of being a crazy hippie about it, I actually want to know the science behind it before I release any of my bullshit opinions.

farmersmarket

We attempted to walk down to the port, but we only made it a few blocks past the farmer’s market before we got too stinkin’ lazy to walk any further. We sat smack dab in the middle of a bridge and ate blueberries that I had also purchased at the market. I only got peas and blueberries, for the record. I’m not that rich or anything. I told Ellie I didn’t even want to get the blueberries because I wanted to save them for my salads.I knew I didn’t have the self-control to not eat the entire pint right then and there. Turns out I don’t have self-control and I ate the entire pint. I barely shared any with Ellie.

cani?

onlyone?selfish

After that, we got pizza at Goat Mountain. They make their pizza on focaccia bread. It’s pretty good, but it’s not my absolute favorite. I don’t really have a favorite place to get pizza. To be honest, I’m not that big of a pizza connoisseur. I got the caramelized onion with arugula and I also got a slice of spicy veggie. Big eater. Ellie got the same caramelized onion and she also got a slice of sausage. I always regret it when I make vegetarian decisions. Even if I don’t particularly like sausage all that much, it really tastes good on pizza.

lessonnnnn

We stopped by a glass shop and met this crazy lady who had a lot of energy that I didn’t know how to handle. She noticed I wasn’t wearing a bra so she attempted to begin a conversation about her pierced nipples. I didn’t really know what to say to her, so I tried to shift the conversation and offered her some of my expensive peas that I got at the market. I listened to little snippets of her story: she’s originally from Florida and loves smoking pot so she moved out west to join the cannabis industry. She started talking about her sister and when I asked questions about her, I used the feminine pronoun “she” and got chastised for it.

bralady

It seemed like everywhere we went, there were crazies. I swear, sometimes Bellingham gets struck with a bolt of crazy and the wolves run free. There was ‘Dude on Bike’ who looked like a very normal person—he really did—but then he started having this strange conversation with himself and Ellie and I just looked at each other and didn’t know what to think. Then there was a man who ran into the pizza place where we were eating and started talking strange to all the invisible people around us. Then there was a man who was twirling around in the streets, clearly fucked up on something. We thought after those interactions that it was enough social time with the world and it was time to revert back into our own minds.

?!?!

I went back home and finished “The Catcher in the Rye” for about the bazillionth time and fell in love over and over again with Holden Caulfield. He’s such a big piece of shit, like me. It’s nice to read a book where the protagonist intuits the world in a similar fashion as I do.

Stay safe out there today!

4th of july

 

Happy Birthday, Mary (Eliza)Beth!

I am wishing my mother, Mary (Eliza)Beth a very happy double nickel! You’re probably wondering who raised this nutcase, so here’s an appreciation post for my mother.

happybirthday

Mom used to tell me stories of growing up in the catholic church. Like a good catholic, Mom’s name is Mary Elizabeth which means that everyone used to call her “Mary Beth.”

My mother is not a Mary Beth.

mary1

I think it’s safe to say that I would have serious mommy issues if my mother was an actual Mary Beth.

Cleaning plates

Mom turns the double nickel today! I can’t believe it, she looks so good. I’m not just saying that because it’s her birthday, but she really works hard to stay happy and healthy. She’s always putting a positive spin on things and sometimes that really ticks me off because sometimes I just want her to listen to me bitch.

I don’t even know how I am my mother’s daughter. Mom gets embarrassed because I don’t have a filter on me. I just say things as I see them. She tried to teach me, she really did.

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My mother is a saint. I remember this one time when I was helping her in the garden and she left me unsupervised for a whole 10 minutes to make lunch. She told me to weed the beds, so when I saw these big, ugly weeds in the farthest bed, I went straight over to it and began digging and jumpin’ all over my shovel. Boy, those weeds were strong suckers! I must have looked crazy jumpin’ all over my shovel like that.

garden2garden3gardenfailure

Yeah, I really fucked that one up. I had destroyed over 60% of my mother’s asparagus crop that had been growing for three years in a matter of a few sweaty minutes. You know what Mom said after frantically informing me of my destruction? She told me “Thanks for being such a good helper! Now it’s time to eat those grilled cheese sandwiches.”

I asked Mom why she didn’t tear my arms off after that incident. She said “How could I? You were just trying to help.”

If you don’t think my mother is a saint after that, you must be a little delusional. I’ll never be as nice as her. If I caught my kid diggin’ up all my asparagus, I would take that shovel and knock them against the head with it.

futurekid

Happy Birthday Mom. Thank you for always attempting to teach me your kindhearted ways no matter how many times I fail. You are truly a standout woman and I am blessed to have such a rockin’ lady in my life. Here’s to you.

Happy Birthday Mom.jpg

 

 

Keep Dreamin’ Kid.

I went to my very first writer’s conference this weekend. Everyone said it was going to be intimidating and one giant ego-contest and they sure as hell were right!

chuckanut

Getting into the writing and publishing industry is incredibly difficult, competitive, and highly unlikely of success. My perfect career, I love a good challenge!

A lot of people tell me not to get too excited about entering the industry. They tell me all the classics…HATERS!!!

I just fire back with more cheese.

fire!1

 

Truth is, everyone lives in fear. The only reason people try to tell me to steer clear of the industry is only to protect me. Really, thanks for the warning and I appreciate you trying to save me from all the hurt feelings I’m inevitably going to feel… but I’d rather put myself out there and see what can come of it before I end up living the rest of my life regretting that I never opened the door.

Last night, I preformed my very first public reading in downtown Fairhaven. Luckily, I had a small posse of supporters there to laugh just in case no one got my jokes… After a glass of wine and my brain settling into my story, I entered my personal world and it came alive. I can’t believe I’ve been so afraid to put a voice to the words all this time…

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Even if I don’t make a dime, I know that I am serving what makes me feel most alive. You never know how much time you got on this crazy little planet we live on… might as well engage in things that make you feel good.

cheers

 

Tiny, Stinkin’ Ugly Dog

My neighbor directly across from me has the ugliest dog. It’s so tiny and so stinkin’ ugly I want to punt it back to the strange world it came from. This morning it looked like it was carrying around a piece of shit in its mouth and I swear it was a legit piece of shit because that dog is an alien. I really wonder what was going through that family’s mind when they purchased that poor little gremlin. At least it doesn’t yap or anything, it just kind of roams their backyard with a piece of shit in its mouth. Alien food.

tinystinkin

I can only guess they named it something like Daisy or Dixie or some basic, small, yappy dog name. God it’s so ugly.

aliendog

 

earthaliens1

I went back inside and Peter was still there. Peter has been staying at the Wildflower house for over 10 days now. I like Peter because he’s not Scott. Anyone but Scott. If you don’t remember Scott, read 2016, May Fifth. before you continue. Anyway, Peter is super nice and real hunky and I don’t mind if he sleeps on my couch for eternity.

scott

Leigh came to town this weekend. She’s another one of my “soul sisters” or whatever hippie crap I buy into that makes me want to put a label to our relationship. Leigh likes to call our relationship a “Karmic Connection” and sometimes this makes me want to vom and tell her to shut the fuck up, but I don’t because I am just as annoying with all that hippie crap as she is.

leighlibraaries

Leigh talks in her sleep just as much as I do. One time we woke each other up having a Sims-like conversation of sleepy jabberings and we quickly realized we share the same nutty gift of being annoying as hell to all the peaceful sleepers. She’s my favorite cuddle bug and my super woman friend because we share the same quirky antics and I think our thoughts actually vibrate on the same level. It’s nice to be around someone who can be just as airy as me.

Leigh and I both like healthy food, but I’m just a big phony about it. I’m so lazy, I just eat salad. I know that’s a good thing, but I literally have zero cooking skills under my belt other than boiling noodles. A lot of people think I like to cook a lot, but I don’t. I know it’s super contradicting, but I could actually be a vegan based on how stinkin’ lazy I am in the kitchen.

salAD

Peter’s got a big crush on Leigh and Leigh’s got a big crush on Peter. So I guess that makes me a matchmaker. It really worked out in my favor because Leigh said she wanted banana chocolate chip pancakes and bacon one night and Peter woke up the next morning, went to the store, and made everyone banana chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. He didn’t skimp on the bacon part either. He got the thick kind that has a nice little pepper coat on the edges #keeper.

GREAT.

Anyway, Mom’s coming into town today and I am preparing for a writer’s conference this weekend. I’m such a hot shot and all the publishers are going to eat all my new work up. Lies! I’m just a big amateur and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing in the industry. Gotta start somewhere.

xo

 

 

 

Balls Out

Safeco

It was Greyson’s 23rd birthday and we got tickets to see the Mariners play the Minnesota Twins at Safeco Field in Seattle. It was my first time inside Safeco Field and the Mariners got completely destroyed. It wasn’t that much of a bummer.

Turns out Karl booked us a very expensive room right across from the stadium and so we got to pretend like we were a bunch of rich kids for a short amount of time. The hotel had complimentary apples and so I grabbed one and ate it and it tasted like watery cardboard.

Unfortunately, the hotel found the niche market and were probably trying to cater to all the vegans and people with made up food allergies.

Gluten Free

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