One Stellar, Sunny Day in North Idaho.

Today Dad and I went kayaking in the Clarkfork Delta up in Hope, Idaho. That place is beautiful! It looked something like this:1blogAccording to the weatherman, today was the last sunny day that we’re gonna see for a while and I could not be happier about it. It means I’ll actually start working on my book again.

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We were the only ones in the delta. We heard some duck hunters blast their guns, but other than that it was just me and Dad. I didn’t see any ducks fall, in case you were wondering.

Mom knew Dad wouldn’t like the lentil soup I made earlier this morning, so she packed us a lunch. She made us PB&J sandwiches, cheese and crackers, and sliced apples. I made us tea, but Dad packed beer instead.4good

North Idaho’s beauty continues to amaze me. Coming home is something so new this time around. I feel like a whole new being, ready to explore and enjoy my new adventure in post-grad life. It certainly feels good to reconnect to my roots before I jet off anywhere new.

I’d never explored the delta before. It felt like I was in a jungle. It was swampy and delicious and brilliantly sunny with not a cloud in the sky. Ducks were singing their quack and flying over us all day. We spotted an osprey flying across the water and soaring up high into a Cedar Tree. Osprey stayed there until I was too stinkin’ loud and close for comfort.5cedar.jpgWe ate Mom’s sandwiches on the rocks overlooking the bay and we talked about the good things. Dad drank a Guinness (an interesting choice for an adventure beer) and I sipped my cinnamon and orange tea, which was still burning hot courtesy of my trusty Stanley thermos.

Now I am home. I ate homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner and boy, am I ready for my bed.

Goodnight everyone!

hannah-1

 

 

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SHE DON’T READ.

In attempt to get my name know down the I-5 corridor, I booked venues all over the area. Turns out that even though I’m trying to get my papered thoughts out there, I can’t read for a damn.

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I booked a reading at the Palisades Cafe in Mt. Vernon for Wednesday night, July 6. I pitched Joe, the guy who organizes the event, a short essay. He wrote back with an enthusiastic response, so I booked the reading right away.

dude

Naturally, I posted on Facebook like some big phony celebrity that I was preforming in Mt. Vernon. I had all these messages comin’ through:

My friend Rowan from my creative writing class tagged along. Three girls I traveled Southeast Asia with this past winter also squeezed into my car. I drove and it was sunny and we were all having a great time.

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10 minutes before we got to Mt. Vernon, I asked Maria if she could plug in the address of the venue into my phone. Maria couldn’t pull up the damn address for the life of her. She kept saying, “Hannah, it says it’s in Iowa!”

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Turns out Maria was right and we were about a three days drive away from the venue. I had a gut feeling that we were going to be late…….

So here we were all together, shoved into my little car with no chance of escaping the reality I had created. Here I am with an ant-sized following and I already need an assistant.

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The only thing I could think of was that I needed a beer.

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I asked if anyone had ever been to La Conner and most of them said no, so I swerved off the freeway and skidded over to La Conner Brewing Company.

helpus!!!

When we got to La Conner Brewing Company, I was ready for a drink. Boy, was I ready for a drink. It took about 20 minutes for the damn waitress to stop being a big sack of potatoes before she asked me if I wanted a beer. She was awful. Boy, was she awful. She was just about the most awful server I ever had. After we put in our drink orders, it took another 20 minutes to get them poured. Normally I would have said something, but I wasn’t in the mood to turn my fire on. The fact that I had booked a venue in Iowa was enough water to put that out for the night.

beer.

I ordered something vegetarian again. Mushroom pizza. I don’t know what’s getting into me lately. When I got home, I took a long, hard look in the mirror and really questioned who I was becoming.

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Harvey says I’m a closet vegetarian.

Harvey

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After the waitress finally came back with our checks, I tipped her the lowest amount I have ever tipped anybody. I didn’t feel bad about it either.

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She really was awful. She hung out by the bar most of the night. She gave us stink eye when we gave her encouraging, puppy-dog eyes.

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I wonder what she’ll do with the potatoes. Is she a masher? Roaster? Fryer? I bet she’s a masher. She seemed pretty angry anyone was even in the restaurant. I bet she went home and mashed all those potatoes together and didn’t even add butter to them. That’s how stinkin’ lazy she was.

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I wrote Joe an email apologizing for my absence and I told him if I ever become a phony hot shot or I’m ever around Mt. Vernon, Iowa, I would love to do a reading at the Palisades Cafe. Joe also told me he wondered where I was, but didn’t care too much. In the end, my inquiry caused Joe to ask a few other writers to preform their work. He told me it got the cycle spinnin’ again in the good ol’ town of Mt. Vernon, Iowa!

Until next time,

palisades 1

 

Saturday, July 2nd.

On Saturday, Ellie and I spent three hours together but it felt like an eternity. Ellie is such an introverted extrovert—like me. We both can be social when we want to, but that usually isn’t the case. I love hanging out with her because I don’t have to pretend to be a big phony and woohoo about how great my life is even though sometimes I feel like it’s crumbling to pieces.

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I'mcomingover.

I spent $6 on a bag of peas at the farmer’s market. Yeah, I felt like a big piece of shit after that! Only rich, white people can afford that kind of crap. Farmer’s markets kind of piss me off. They’re just so goddamn expensive. I can’t help but go—that’s the really materialistic side of me. I love good, organic vegetables. It’s not like I’m a vegan or afraid of GMOs or anything. In fact I don’t really know that much about GMOs to have an honest to god conversation about it. But I think science is pretty cool and instead of being a crazy hippie about it, I actually want to know the science behind it before I release any of my bullshit opinions.

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We attempted to walk down to the port, but we only made it a few blocks past the farmer’s market before we got too stinkin’ lazy to walk any further. We sat smack dab in the middle of a bridge and ate blueberries that I had also purchased at the market. I only got peas and blueberries, for the record. I’m not that rich or anything. I told Ellie I didn’t even want to get the blueberries because I wanted to save them for my salads.I knew I didn’t have the self-control to not eat the entire pint right then and there. Turns out I don’t have self-control and I ate the entire pint. I barely shared any with Ellie.

cani?

onlyone?selfish

After that, we got pizza at Goat Mountain. They make their pizza on focaccia bread. It’s pretty good, but it’s not my absolute favorite. I don’t really have a favorite place to get pizza. To be honest, I’m not that big of a pizza connoisseur. I got the caramelized onion with arugula and I also got a slice of spicy veggie. Big eater. Ellie got the same caramelized onion and she also got a slice of sausage. I always regret it when I make vegetarian decisions. Even if I don’t particularly like sausage all that much, it really tastes good on pizza.

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We stopped by a glass shop and met this crazy lady who had a lot of energy that I didn’t know how to handle. She noticed I wasn’t wearing a bra so she attempted to begin a conversation about her pierced nipples. I didn’t really know what to say to her, so I tried to shift the conversation and offered her some of my expensive peas that I got at the market. I listened to little snippets of her story: she’s originally from Florida and loves smoking pot so she moved out west to join the cannabis industry. She started talking about her sister and when I asked questions about her, I used the feminine pronoun “she” and got chastised for it.

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It seemed like everywhere we went, there were crazies. I swear, sometimes Bellingham gets struck with a bolt of crazy and the wolves run free. There was ‘Dude on Bike’ who looked like a very normal person—he really did—but then he started having this strange conversation with himself and Ellie and I just looked at each other and didn’t know what to think. Then there was a man who ran into the pizza place where we were eating and started talking strange to all the invisible people around us. Then there was a man who was twirling around in the streets, clearly fucked up on something. We thought after those interactions that it was enough social time with the world and it was time to revert back into our own minds.

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I went back home and finished “The Catcher in the Rye” for about the bazillionth time and fell in love over and over again with Holden Caulfield. He’s such a big piece of shit, like me. It’s nice to read a book where the protagonist intuits the world in a similar fashion as I do.

Stay safe out there today!

4th of july

 

Happy Birthday, Mary (Eliza)Beth!

I am wishing my mother, Mary (Eliza)Beth a very happy double nickel! You’re probably wondering who raised this nutcase, so here’s an appreciation post for my mother.

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Mom used to tell me stories of growing up in the catholic church. Like a good catholic, Mom’s name is Mary Elizabeth which means that everyone used to call her “Mary Beth.”

My mother is not a Mary Beth.

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I think it’s safe to say that I would have serious mommy issues if my mother was an actual Mary Beth.

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Mom turns the double nickel today! I can’t believe it, she looks so good. I’m not just saying that because it’s her birthday, but she really works hard to stay happy and healthy. She’s always putting a positive spin on things and sometimes that really ticks me off because sometimes I just want her to listen to me bitch.

I don’t even know how I am my mother’s daughter. Mom gets embarrassed because I don’t have a filter on me. I just say things as I see them. She tried to teach me, she really did.

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My mother is a saint. I remember this one time when I was helping her in the garden and she left me unsupervised for a whole 10 minutes to make lunch. She told me to weed the beds, so when I saw these big, ugly weeds in the farthest bed, I went straight over to it and began digging and jumpin’ all over my shovel. Boy, those weeds were strong suckers! I must have looked crazy jumpin’ all over my shovel like that.

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Yeah, I really fucked that one up. I had destroyed over 60% of my mother’s asparagus crop that had been growing for three years in a matter of a few sweaty minutes. You know what Mom said after frantically informing me of my destruction? She told me “Thanks for being such a good helper! Now it’s time to eat those grilled cheese sandwiches.”

I asked Mom why she didn’t tear my arms off after that incident. She said “How could I? You were just trying to help.”

If you don’t think my mother is a saint after that, you must be a little delusional. I’ll never be as nice as her. If I caught my kid diggin’ up all my asparagus, I would take that shovel and knock them against the head with it.

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Happy Birthday Mom. Thank you for always attempting to teach me your kindhearted ways no matter how many times I fail. You are truly a standout woman and I am blessed to have such a rockin’ lady in my life. Here’s to you.

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Keep Dreamin’ Kid.

I went to my very first writer’s conference this weekend. Everyone said it was going to be intimidating and one giant ego-contest and they sure as hell were right!

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Getting into the writing and publishing industry is incredibly difficult, competitive, and highly unlikely of success. My perfect career, I love a good challenge!

A lot of people tell me not to get too excited about entering the industry. They tell me all the classics…HATERS!!!

I just fire back with more cheese.

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Truth is, everyone lives in fear. The only reason people try to tell me to steer clear of the industry is only to protect me. Really, thanks for the warning and I appreciate you trying to save me from all the hurt feelings I’m inevitably going to feel… but I’d rather put myself out there and see what can come of it before I end up living the rest of my life regretting that I never opened the door.

Last night, I preformed my very first public reading in downtown Fairhaven. Luckily, I had a small posse of supporters there to laugh just in case no one got my jokes… After a glass of wine and my brain settling into my story, I entered my personal world and it came alive. I can’t believe I’ve been so afraid to put a voice to the words all this time…

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Even if I don’t make a dime, I know that I am serving what makes me feel most alive. You never know how much time you got on this crazy little planet we live on… might as well engage in things that make you feel good.

cheers

 

Tiny, Stinkin’ Ugly Dog

My neighbor directly across from me has the ugliest dog. It’s so tiny and so stinkin’ ugly I want to punt it back to the strange world it came from. This morning it looked like it was carrying around a piece of shit in its mouth and I swear it was a legit piece of shit because that dog is an alien. I really wonder what was going through that family’s mind when they purchased that poor little gremlin. At least it doesn’t yap or anything, it just kind of roams their backyard with a piece of shit in its mouth. Alien food.

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I can only guess they named it something like Daisy or Dixie or some basic, small, yappy dog name. God it’s so ugly.

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I went back inside and Peter was still there. Peter has been staying at the Wildflower house for over 10 days now. I like Peter because he’s not Scott. Anyone but Scott. If you don’t remember Scott, read 2016, May Fifth. before you continue. Anyway, Peter is super nice and real hunky and I don’t mind if he sleeps on my couch for eternity.

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Leigh came to town this weekend. She’s another one of my “soul sisters” or whatever hippie crap I buy into that makes me want to put a label to our relationship. Leigh likes to call our relationship a “Karmic Connection” and sometimes this makes me want to vom and tell her to shut the fuck up, but I don’t because I am just as annoying with all that hippie crap as she is.

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Leigh talks in her sleep just as much as I do. One time we woke each other up having a Sims-like conversation of sleepy jabberings and we quickly realized we share the same nutty gift of being annoying as hell to all the peaceful sleepers. She’s my favorite cuddle bug and my super woman friend because we share the same quirky antics and I think our thoughts actually vibrate on the same level. It’s nice to be around someone who can be just as airy as me.

Leigh and I both like healthy food, but I’m just a big phony about it. I’m so lazy, I just eat salad. I know that’s a good thing, but I literally have zero cooking skills under my belt other than boiling noodles. A lot of people think I like to cook a lot, but I don’t. I know it’s super contradicting, but I could actually be a vegan based on how stinkin’ lazy I am in the kitchen.

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Peter’s got a big crush on Leigh and Leigh’s got a big crush on Peter. So I guess that makes me a matchmaker. It really worked out in my favor because Leigh said she wanted banana chocolate chip pancakes and bacon one night and Peter woke up the next morning, went to the store, and made everyone banana chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. He didn’t skimp on the bacon part either. He got the thick kind that has a nice little pepper coat on the edges #keeper.

GREAT.

Anyway, Mom’s coming into town today and I am preparing for a writer’s conference this weekend. I’m such a hot shot and all the publishers are going to eat all my new work up. Lies! I’m just a big amateur and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing in the industry. Gotta start somewhere.

xo

 

 

 

Fairhaven: The School for Misfit Toys

On Saturday, June 11, 2016, I graduated from college. It took me 5 years, 1 transfer, and multiple major changes to finally figure out what I wanted to do with my academic career. I got a degree titled Ecogastronomy and Creative Writing from Fairhaven College. This means that I studied equal parts science and English. What I’ll do with it, who knows? Something creative and meaningful, that’s for sure.

Rich gave me my sendoff speech at graduation. Since Fairhaven is such a small school, each graduate is able to choose one professor or person that influenced them during their college career. They have the power to tell the audience all the cool things (or not cool things) you did during your time in school.

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Rich presented three of us. Sam, a brilliant scientist and writer. He wore a bright orange NASA suit to graduation. Sam is obsessed with the complexity of the Universe and loves studying the stars and planets. He will go far, I am sure. Next was Chiara, this crazy environmentalist with these great, signature eyebrows. Talk about an interesting person to have a conversation with! One time I ran into her in the dining hall and she told me the story about how she climbed onto the chains of a big oil ship heading up to the Arctic. She stayed there for THREE DAYS. Eventually she came down and was slapped with a big $20,000 fine courtesy of the federal government. She’s a badass, even if she’s a vegetarian. Then there was me. The little, satirical weirdo who can enter different worlds and write about it. I don’t really have anything going for me except for crap like this:

NovegansallowedcarpetMom says that Fairhaven is the “school for misfit toys” and I think that’s a pretty accurate description. She forgot the part about the plethora of creative genius at Fairhaven. I have never felt so proud and inspired to live my life in a real “fuck the rules, but with reason” kind of way. No grades. You function on your own ambition and drive. This is a great model for the real world. The Fairhaven student that takes advantage of this style of education does big things in life. It didn’t take me long to become more aware of my classmates and the impact they are going to have for the future generations. These people are real artists. Real collectives. Intelligent people with a thing or two to say about the significance of life and earth.

I walked into my first class at Fairhaven unaware of myself and completely detached from a solid path in life. Honestly, I was floundering and the education I received from Fairhaven College taught me how live my life with my eyes wide open. During my time as a Fairhaven student, I lived in Hawaii and worked on an organic farm for internship credit, traveled to Southeast Asia and lived in village culture for academic credit, rekindled my love of reading, and most importantly found my passion: creative writing.

Rich Simon, the man who presented me at graduation and my Green Literature, Creative Writing, and Big History professor, is the person who helped me open the channel to my entire Universe. In his classes, I began to understand the intricacies of my mind. I discovered worlds I could travel to with the power of creative thought. Rich’s Green Literature class inspired me so much that it fired me onto my own personal path of “enlightenment.” I am in love with the the written word. After an unhealthy amount of time searching for my life purpose, it came to me in the most cliché way life could ever hand me a gift: out of nowhere. After a long journey of serious lows, I was guided to something that has given me so much peace, understanding, and sense of responsibility in the world.

Truthfully, I was sad and without purpose for the first half of my academic career. It took a while for me to regain a serious passion, but I can say those lows of lessons inspired me to keep fighting for something meaningful I could do for society.

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The above doesn’t go to say that I don’t think that veganism isn’t the single most, best thing that you can do for the environment. It is. You just have to hit a certain level of depression about the status of the world to understand that you have to learn how to enjoy life alongside all of the injustices. Balance.

So what now? How do I create my life outside of academics?

I was offered a few different job opportunities. With carefully crafted thought (and also an employer that asked me out to dinner directly after hiring me), I have come to a conclusion that I want to see more of the world instead of entering the 9-5. I want to explore, observe, and write about it. So I’m moving back home for the summer to save as much money as possible so I can continue to see for myself what’s going on with the state of the world. I want to travel with a lot of purpose and responsibility.

Where to? Maybe back to Europe. Or maybe I’ll explore the work ethic of the Japanese or teach English in China to observe population growth and pollution. Maybe I’ll research the inevitable death of the Great Barrier Reef caused by humans. Maybe I’ll write for travel companies or even create an entirely new company that promotes ethical travel. Who knows? Who cares? The only thing that I care about is that I am aware of all of the open doors and it’s up to me to choose the one that’s going to fire me to the next level of awareness.

xo

 

 

Balls Out

Safeco

It was Greyson’s 23rd birthday and we got tickets to see the Mariners play the Minnesota Twins at Safeco Field in Seattle. It was my first time inside Safeco Field and the Mariners got completely destroyed. It wasn’t that much of a bummer.

Turns out Karl booked us a very expensive room right across from the stadium and so we got to pretend like we were a bunch of rich kids for a short amount of time. The hotel had complimentary apples and so I grabbed one and ate it and it tasted like watery cardboard.

Unfortunately, the hotel found the niche market and were probably trying to cater to all the vegans and people with made up food allergies.

Gluten Free

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What is Ken Jennings?

So right now, I am thinking about Jeopardy and how Ken Jenny is famous from that show. I wonder how many games of Jeopardy he actually won? I was thinking about researching him later to understand how the heck he won all those Jeopardy games in a row.

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So I just researched the real Ken Jennings. I’m not sure who Ken Jenny is in above paragraph^. Turns out he is from Edmonds, Washington! I could literally get in my car and drive to Ken Jennings’ hometown right now! Edmonds is south of me. It’s located in Snohomish County.

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