Kirk the Jerk

Life would have been much more simple for Bunny and me if it wasn’t for Uncle Kirk.

fdsfsa

This is how Bunny looked before Uncle Kirk started visiting on a regular basis:

bunny

This is how Bunny looks now:

Deadbunny

This is who is responsible for Bunny’s current state:

ktj

Kirk the Jerk is the worst. He’s one of my favorite uncles, but he’s still the worst. Sure, he would “play” with us, but his idea of play and my idea of play were much different and things would usually end in tears.

Picture1

Kirk the Jerk lived 4 hours away from us and only came to visit during special occasions like Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July.

tx

gbush

At first, we always loved when Kirk the Jerk came to visit because he always bought us sugar cereal that Mom would never buy for us. Mom would always limit us to one bowl and Kirk the Jerk would always tell mom:

newcarrot

Kirk the Jerk would get bored real quick talking with my parents and he would try to play with us.

teatime

iwannaplay

help

Bunny suffered so much trauma, she had to go to Doctor Dian.

astral.project

Astral

Even though Bunny suffered intense trauma from Kirk the Jerk, she still means the world to me. Sure, she might give people nightmares by the sight of her… but she’s still my Bunny.

Bunny’s been through the thick and the thin with me.

sleepoverheartbreak2

I hate to admit that I brought Bunny to college with me. She currently lives in the trunk of my car. I can’t afford to have anyone—especially potential lovers—find her.

Sometimes I go through these scenarios where they find Bunny the morning after…

sleepoverboy

whatthefucknotwhatyouthinkYOU'reWeird

Anyway, when Kirk the Jerk wasn’t raging warfare on Bunny, he was helping me kill the game. Mom and Dad came up with a rule that for every swear word Kirk the Jerk said, he would have to give me 25 cents.

MONEYY

Sometimes Kirk the Jerk would give me 20 bucks right when he walked through the door.

FUCK

I know I’m making it sound like Kirk the Jerk is just the worst… but… He is just the worst.

Trump

Advertisements

2 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s